SMALL PERSON, BIG WORRIES
13 Jan
My 6 year old daughter has always been very grown up for her age. She is certainly not one of those kids that you can easily fool, she is very independent and there’s not much that goes past her.
She was really upset last night and when I asked her what was up, she asked me: “Mummy, will I still be able to talk to you when you are dead?” My heart sank. Why was this little person worrying about death? I had to explain to her that everyone dies, but usually not until they are very old and wrinkly… She still looked upset and asked me: “Will you still die even if you exercise every day?” (We had been talking about people who are ‘chubby’ and how it can be bad for you, just as being too thin can make you sick etc.)
I was wondering where all this was coming from, and by this point she was getting quite hysteric, crying and saying she didn’t want to go to bed. Me and my husband sat her down and asked her why she was thinking about me dying. She said she had a dream about it the other night.
I really had to fight back my own tears, as I felt so upset that my little girl was worrying about big things like this. I am sure it’s quite normal, but I can’t remember myself worrying about death and dying until I was quite a bit older.
Has anyone had to have this discussion with their young children and what did you say?
Made me feel quite emotional reading this! As a child I remember worrying about this too! I still do have a ‘fear’ of losing people close to me and I have no idea why?!
You can imagine what a mess I was. She was so upset! And her dream seemed so vivid as she said I died in the kitchen!
Maybe I should stay away from the kitchen and make Phil do all the cooking just to be on the safe side!
x
Poor V. Freddie reassures me nearly every day that I don’t need to worry about dying as he will still love me even when I am dead x
I was so scared of losing my Dad from a very young age, as he was an older Dad the same age as some of my friend’s grandpa’s. I never talked about it with my parents though and i’m sure the fact she can with you and Phil is a very good sign. Just encourage her to love every day with you xx
I was just the same as a child…… Really worried & anxious about death of someone close…… Have to say I’m a bit the same now really but just manage it differently. Poor V…… I empathise! You will look back & laugh at these moments my mum & I do!!!
Chloe went through this in year 1!! Didn’t help that once we got past it, Easter came along and started it off again with the whole Jesus thing! She really had a thing about me and Russ dying! Difficult because we didn’t want to lie and say if course we won’t ever die!
xxx
I had the same nightmares/thoughts as a young child too. I remember lying in bed unable to sleep thinking that when you die you never ever see anyone you love again. I use to run downstairs to my mum and dad hysterically crying. It’s a horrible feeling. If I think too deeply about it, even now, it’s enough to almost give me a panic attack. All you can do is show V how you’re doing everything you can to stay healthy so you are around for a long time. Saffie often talks about when she’s a mummy and I’m a nanny so we talk about the future and what it will be like. You could try doing something like this to help ease her fears. x
My kids lost their grandpa 2 years ago and still talk about him being dead and/or in heaven almost daily. I think it’s a big concept to get their little heads around. Just the other day my oldest asked me matter of factly though: “can I live in your house when you’re dead?”
Just keep reassuring her that people don’t usually die until they’re 100
Thanks for your comments everyone! Me and Phil both reassured her that people don’t usually die until they are really old and wrinkly. That did slightly backfire when I asked Venla if I am wrinkly and she had the cheek to say YES!!!
I’ve lost a few close people recently that are my age and it’s really affected Olivia x:(
Oh Nicki I bet. And that is why I can’t lie to Venla and say everyone dies when they are really old. Not always the case, sadly
Jenna has huge issues in foundation.. Only her worry was that SHE was going to die.
She was having serious issues at bedtime and school drop off.. I had to keep her off school for a few days.
Her teacher was very understanding!!!
It Broke my heart..
Hers was down to a spate of separation anxiety.. Thankfully it went as soon as it came! Xxx
Oh poor Jenna, I remember that actually Janine! Poor little loves… x
Venla onkin nukkunut jo aika monta yota mun vieressa!
Tuolla ne posottaa meian sangyssa vierekkain!
I remember having the same thoughts when I was a boy but a little older than your little girl. I remember thinking I would dig my mum up if she died. Silly I know but irrational thoughts are.
My mum died when I was nearly 21 (32 years ago) and now I get irrational thoughts of my wife dying! Crazy.
All you can do is your best and help her – which I know you will! Stay strong!